two birthdays and a wedding!

On a flying visit to the States this week, I sat next to a stunning woman who told me she was giving a lecture to the annual nymphomaniac convention in New York. She told me her talk would include the correction of several sexual myths, for example:

Frenchmen aren’t the best lovers, Greeks are.

Red Indians are the most well-endowed, not African Americans.

Irishmen, not the English upper class, are the most likely to charm a woman into bed.

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and said, ‘I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don’t even know your name!’

‘Tonto,’ I said. ‘Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.’

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

If you thought that was good you’ll love the next one!

I was driving to work this morning when I saw an RAC van parked at the side of the road. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.

I thought to myself, `That guy’s heading for a breakdown.’

A man and his wife were woken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

‘Not a chance,’ says the husband, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’
He slams the door and returns to bed.
‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.
‘Just some drunk asking for a push,’ he answers.

‘Did you help him?’ she asks.
‘No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!’

‘Well, you have a short memory,’ says his wife. ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!’

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, ‘Hello, are you still there?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband.

‘Yes, please!’
‘Where are you?’ Asks the husband.

‘I’m over here on the swing,’